Sealand
by Mononoke-hime x sukai kurora
Summary: Sealand used to be cared for by England. A country at war had found a young toddler with blond hair and blue eyes, and had cared for him. Sealand remembers that time as he reveals the reason why he wants to be a nation.


_Sealand _

_ England used to care for me, _Sealand thought as he routinely watched the sea. Although he would much rather be doing other nation duties such as paperwork and having meetings with his boss, Sealand would often watch the sea no matter the time of the day. It wasn't his job, really. He loved the sea. The saltiness of the sea and of the dark waves always calmed him. It always did after a hard day. Today was one of those days. His boss wasn't paying him attention, and there were more leaks than usual. _He used to, I remember. England used let me sit on my lap and read to me. _Sealand closed his eyes and remembered himself as a very small child, only beginning to talk as he was read to by the kindest man he knew. _That was before I knew what I was, _Sealand thought glumly. _Before I declared independence. _The sea was vast and black with the night sky above his head. The stars were beautiful. _Then…it changed. _

Sealand's first memory had been England. A tall man with green eyes had found him in one of the rooms, sleeping. Sealand hadn't even been the human age of two years old yet. He still remembered the room even now. A small room, with hastily completed bunk beds and a couple of chairs and tables. There were no windows. Sealand had been born in a world without light. The large blue eyes had widened at the figure standing in front of the infant micronation. That was when Sealand smiled at the man with the weird face and lifted his arms, whining. He wanted to be picked up.

At first, the man seemed to hesitate. His green eyes shifted nervously as he stared at the small face._ His hands felt big and warm, _Sealand remembered as England had at last picked him up and held him in his arms. _I remember of how safe I felt as he held me in his arms. _Sealand laughed, the laughter echoing against the sky as he remembered pulling England's blond hair after that. _"What are you doing, you little -!" _Sealand didn't pay attention at the time. How he enjoyed playing with England's hair. It felt so soft. _He got really mad when I tried to chew it. _England had set him down upon the bed again, his strange face now angry. Sealand started to cry. Something happened then. _It looked like he was remembering something_, Sealand thought now. _His face was sad. _The infant he had been felt England's hand on his hair. The tears started to stop when he saw the man smile gently at him. _"Don't worry. I'll be back."_

It was then that Sealand had started to grow. The man, who told the infant micronation to call him England, had given him his first taste of food when they had first met. England called them scones. Sealand had given it a try, and he had loved them. He had been so busy stuffing his face with his meal that he didn't realize that England was crying until he felt the two warm arms around him. _"Thank you," _he had muttered as he squeezed the little child. _"You're the first one that…" _It was only later that Sealand had learned that England's cooking had been the mockery of Europe for centuries.

He himself didn't understand what was so wrong with it. It was good! Especially fish and chips. Sealand didn't want to admit it, but he had desperately wanted England to cook his meals like he used to. His boss was so _busy_, and no one of his citizens seemed to care that he was their country. _Stupid jerk England! Why won't he come and visit me? _Sealand stared at the stars and sighed. He remembered the time when England had come and visited him after the war. England had seemed shorter now, but the blond nation had told him that it was because Sealand was bigger. He remembered looking down at himself and jumping with glee that he_ had _gotten bigger. He hadn't noticed.

"_Look, England! I'm six years old now!" Sealand had squealed with glee. He could see England smiling too. He remembered of the times when England visited him during the war shortly after he had found him. The tall nation seemed tired all the time and so sad and angry. The uniform that Sealand loved to play with – when England was in the shower and didn't know of his mischief – had been dirty and dull with something black. Or was it red? England was still teaching him his colors. He didn't seem to read to him that often either. Sealand would always pout and cry before England roughly called him over and sat him on his lap._

"_What's that?" Sealand asked as his pudgy hands touched the strange paper. It had strange shapes on it. England softly pulled his hands away._

"_That is a map." Sealand put his hands on the map on the biggest shape. "Why is that one so big, England?" Then the little boy gasped. "Is it big because it's a hero?"_

_Sealand looked up to see England laughing. It was a strange sound, something that Sealand hadn't heard before. But he liked it. He looked to see his caretaker smile with his eyes bright as he again ruffled the boy's hair. "I'm the hero here, boy!" His voice was rough from laughter. Sealand looked at his still-smiling face, and wanted to smile back. England eased Sealand's hands onto the shape that was in middle of the blue stuff. "That's me, England." The tiny hand moved to another shape. "And that…" his voice became quiet. "Is France." Suddenly England started to become loud and yell. Sealand heard a lot of words, like "bloody" and "frog" and "Yank" along with some "git" named Germany. He didn't understand most of it. But Sealand nodded as if he did, certain that the information that somehow made England make those weird faces would be useful someday!_

"_Where am I, England?" Sealand asked. The older man suddenly stopped and looked at him. "You told me I'm a nation, right? That's how you found me." His blue eyes became sad. "So where am –"_

"_No."_ _England was quiet again. His hand pulled away. "You're not a nation." He silently pulled Sealand from his lap and put him down on his bed. Sealand didn't even try to play with England's pillow the man seemed so serious. "You're not a nation." Suddenly England looked away. "If you become a nation…then you'll have to have pain and sorrow. You'll have deal what I had to deal with when I was your age." Sealand almost cried from the coldness of England's fingers. But the water – _tears_ from England's eyes made him stop. "I don't want you to go through with that." After that night, England hadn't spoken to him, and told him gruffly to go to bed._

_Sealand often slept with the nation. It was in a smaller room than Sealand had been found in. Nothing much had been in there. But Sealand even had his own bed! He was so happy when England had ruffled his hair and showed him a sowed handmade Union Jack flag as a blanket. Sealand had been so happy to sleep beside his caretaker. But one night he awoke to England standing in the room, whispering to himself. "Goddamn you, frog." Sealand couldn't see his face, but he was shaking. "If you had told me what Germany did to you…I would have…bloody hell…" Sealand didn't understand why he sounded so sad. Didn't he hate France? Why was he crying? Sealand remembered that night. He didn't say anything as England put him around his shoulders and showed him the sea. He had been so happy that day. "Look at the sea! It's so…beautiful!" Sealand hadn't thought about anything but that moment as he and England stared at the sea._

Then he had left. Sealand couldn't understand. He watched as England packed away as his citizens started to move too. Soon the entire base was empty expect for what belonged to Sealand. The boy, now physically age ten, wandered over to the man that had made him feel so special and wanted during his times here. He didn't look at him "England!" Sealand shouted as he spotted the older nation going onto a ship. "England! Wait!" He was unwilling to acknowledge the tears filling his eyes. "Stop, please!" The ship started pulling away. The words that he always wanted to say but now came flooding out of his mouth. _"'Big brother!"_

Sealand didn't know how long he was alone. He didn't know how he had lived that long alone. His memories were his only comfort. Of England first finding him, and pulling and chewing his hair. Of England chasing him without his clothes on because Sealand had stolen them. Of England patiently teaching him how to read and write. He had taught him so many things. Strangely enough, it was thinking of England's singing to him as an infant that made him fall asleep with his eyes swollen shut and his heart crying.

Sealand only became angry when England had attempted to visit him again years later, shouting something about "boss" and "frog" and "upset." Sealand screamed at him to leave him alone. It was only later that Sealand realized that it had been England's boss that had forced him to leave him. _His _boss had explained that to him. His boss was a nice man. He gave him treats and a nice warm place with _people _again. Sealand hadn't thought about it when his boss declared independence. He thought that, since England had lost most of his kingdom (was that what it was called?) after the war, England would acknowledge him.

Sealand didn't know what was worse. Having England ignore him, of his boss throwing away the stuff that England gave him. _"Throw this away!" _Sealand had desperately tried to explain that the Union Jack blanket was important to him – as were the multiple drawings of England and him holding hands that he drew when he had been very small. His boss would hear none of it. Sealand had tried to keep quiet – he really did, but his boss had heard him crying and told him that his job was to fix the leaks in his country from now on. England didn't help. Well, there was one moment when he _had _rescued him from pirates when in 1978, but they didn't talk much. Even though Sealand constantly called him jerk England, he really didn't feel that way. He missed him. _"Stupid excuse of a country," _he had heard England mutter under his breath whenever he unsuccessfully invaded a World Meeting. Sealand knew England didn't mean it though. Why else would he have been sitting next to the frog anyway? England still cared for him, Sealand knew.

Why was England so afraid for him? He didn't understand. _Maybe he doesn't remember what I told him after I overheard him talking to his boss about me. _England had been calling his boss one night when Sealand had hugged his leg. _I've…always had this wish since then._

It had been his wish since he had been a child.

"_I want to be a great country like you, England!"_


End file.
